Q: So… what’s it like having a penis?
A: Ha, this is of course a very broad question, so it’s hard to answer. So I’ll just list off some tidbits.
-Usually you don’t notice it’s there, and when you do, it’s not as “in the way” as people without penises may think. Rearrangement is an occasional necessity though.
-The scrotum can get a little itchy or chafe once in a while, but once again it’s really not that burdensome, aside from the balls’ extreme sensitivity to pain.
-Balls move around on their own a bit, due to the cremaster muscle regulating their temperature. Sit and stare at them sometime, it’s fun to watch.
-Erections can be inconvenient sometimes if you get one at a bad time, but usually with some mental control you can get it to subside quickly. Also, you often wake up with one.
-Being able to easily pee standing is convenient, but not such a big deal because it’s not like sitting down takes that much extra time or effort. While some people wipe the penis after peeing, the majority don’t, and prefer to shake the last few drops out. Sometimes you discover afterwards they weren’t the last, though.
-You may have heard of catastrophic zipper accidents, but they’re really quite rare.
-Sometimes the penis pops out the fly hole of your underwear. It’s quite annoying when that occurs.
If there’s anything else you’d specifically like to know, feel free to ask.
Q: What does getting/having an erection feel like?
A: Hmm. You can “feel” that you have an erection, but it’s not a particularly strong feeling. It’s just something you can sense is there. Sometimes you can kind of feel the “heaviness” of it, sometimes you can’t. As for the actual process of getting the erection, you can feel your penis growing a little bit (sort of like a light twitch, plus you feel it against your clothes of course), but it’s not like you feel this sudden rush of blood. It can take maybe 30 seconds or longer to reach “full mast,” so it’s rather gradual.
Q: What does ejaculation feel like?
A: You tend not to feel ejaculation itself so much, as it’s usually accompanied by orgasm, and that’s the overpowering sensation. Sometimes you can feel it in your prostate a bit, sort of like a slight ache except usually not painful. Really, the orgasm is what you feel rather than the ejaculating.
Q: Can you move the penis at all?
A: Yep, you can flex it a bit, particularly when erect.
Q: What’s the average human penis size?
A: General consensus from studies is that the average erect length is between 5.1 inches and 5.9 inches. Flaccid length doesn’t have much bearing on erect length- some people are “showers” (the flaccid size is already most of the erect size), while others are “growers” (the flaccid size is much smaller than the erect size), and still others aren’t really either.
Q: Is it true that the penis and vulva are made of the same parts?
A: It’s true! Both sets of genitals come from the same tissue, they just wind up looking and being arranged differently. Every part has an equivalent, or homologue. The glans is homologous to the clitoris, the foreskin is homologous to the clitoral hood, the testicles to the ovaries, the scrotum to the labia, etc.
Q: Do you have any tips on penile hygiene?
A: Yep, here you go.
Q: Any advice on shaving?
A: I recommend fuckyeahsexeducation’s guide to pubic shaving; just ignore the parts about the vulva. As for shaving the scrotum and the shaft of the penis, remember to be very gentle and slow, as it’s thin skin. Don’t worry if you nick yourself, though! I’ve nicked myself plenty of times, and it’s just a slight sting. Annoying, but not terribly painful, and barely a sliver of blood.
Q: Is it normal to have hair growing on the shaft of the penis?
A: Yes, though the extent of how far up it goes is often circumcision-related. A particularly tight circumcision will pull some of what should be pubic/scrotal skin onto the shaft, and thus the hair creeps further up. But it’s not completely circumcision-related: there are plenty of uncircumcised penises that have shaft hair, as well.
Q: Is it normal to have little bumps around the rim of the glans?
A: You’re probably referring to pearly penile papules, which are completely normal and harmless. It’s just a natural variation. They’re common too- as many as 25% of adult penises have PPPs. You can read more here.
Q: What about having tiny little bumps all over the penis shaft/scrotum?
A: It sounds like you’re talking about Fordyce’s spots. This is a completely normal skin variation, and is also sometimes present on the labia and the lips of the face. Fordyce’s spots are simply just sebaceous glands that are extra prominent. There is nothing harmful about them, they’re merely a cosmetic variation and they’re fairly common. I happen to have them myself.
Q: Are you sure these PPPs and/or Fordyce’s spots aren’t genital warts?
A: If you don’t have a reason to suspect you have genital warts, then you probably don’t! Take a look at this comparison picture (not my own work).
Q: Is it normal for the foreskin not to retract all the way?
A: Plenty of adults have phimosis, which is trouble fully retracting the foreskin all the way below the head. If it doesn’t cause any pain/discomfort and doesn’t impede cleaning beneath the foreskin, it’s not necessarily a problem that needs to be corrected. But if it won’t retract at all, one may want to consider correcting it. This is a good forum for those interested in phimosis treatment. There are several ways to fix a non-retractable foreskin that don’t involve circumcision, including stretching exercises, applying cream (Betamethasone seems to be the recommended one, applied once or twice a day), phimosis-curing devices (such as the Glansie, Gentle Foreskin Stretcher, or this), and as an absolute last resort, mild surgeries other than circumcision than don’t result in removing the entire foreskin. Circumcision is almost NEVER truly required to treat phimosis, regardless of what some doctors may suggest. (Also, please note that a non-retractable foreskin is only an issue when in occurs in adults. It is completely normal and healthy for an infant/child to not be able to pull back their foreskin, so never force it back or let anyone else, even a doctor do so.)
Q: How painful is it to be kicked/hit in the balls?
A: It is extremely painful.Besides the extreme sensitivity of the testicles themselves, the pain also radiates as far up as the stomach. Not only is the pain severe, it’s long lasting- often an injury to the testicles results in being unable to walk for a day. Additionally, there are cases where it leads to permanent damage, sterility, or in some extremely rare instances, death. So while it may be funny to see someone get hit in the balls on TV or whatever, I strongly urge you to NEVER hit somebody in the testicles unless it’s absolutely necessary (i.e. self-defense). Besides the severe pain and the risks involved, it’s also a violation of one’s most personal body parts.
Q: What are the most sexually sensitive parts of the penis?
A: In no particular order:
-The glans (head of the penis). It’s much more sensitive among those who aren’t circumcised, but even without a foreskin, it’s often still fairly sensitive to most stimulation.
-The corona, the rim of the glans.
-The inner foreskin (or if circumcised, the remnant of it, if there is one), which is dense with nerve endings. Inner foreskin is the portion that’s directly in contact with the glans, and is pinker in color.
-The frenulum (if not fully removed), the strip of skin connecting the foreskin to the glans. In particular, the frenular delta, the spot where the frenulum and glans meet, is considered by many to be the most sexually sensitive part of the entire penis. It’s especially responsive to rapid tongue flicking.
-The shaft itself is sensitive to pressure, particularly in an up-and-down motion.
-Some people report their circumcision scar (if applicable) is sensitive, but not everyone does. On the flip side, some report that stimulation around the scar can be painful.
Q: What’s the deal with masturbating with lube?
A: Some people like to use lube, some don’t, and some essentially need to. A tight circumcision can result in discomfort when masturbating with just bare hands, and some lubricant is needed to avoid painful friction. Not everyone minds the friction though. People with looser circumcisions or who aren’t circumcised at all are less likely to use lube, but it’s not unheard of.
Q: Do you have any advice on giving handjobs?
A: Yes, I wrote a guide here, covering different techniques for different styles of circumcision (or lack thereof).
Q: Do you have a similar guide for oral sex?
A: Sure do! Right here.
Q: What’s the refractory period?
A: That’s the period of time after ejaculation where further orgasms/ejaculations are temporary impossible, sexual stimulation may be unpleasurable and possibly even uncomfortable, and interest in sexual stimulation tends to decrease. The refractory period can be anywhere from a few minutes to several hours. It varies from person to person (and instance to instance), but generally is longer among older adults.
Q: Is it possible for someone with a penis to have multiple orgasms, or does the refractory period make this impossible?
A: Well, if a particular refractory period is really short, you can have another orgasm in the same session, if you want to consider that multiple orgasms. As for actually beating the refractory period, it is possible, but you have to train yourself. Orgasm and ejaculation, while usually occurring at the same time, are actually two separate processes, so by training yourself to hold back ejaculation when orgasming (through flexing a muscle in what’s known as a kegel exercise), you can have multiple orgasms with no refractory period. It takes lots of training and dedication to get the hang of, though. But it sounds worth it!
Q: Do you have any other sex advice?
A: I’m happy to give more advice or answer any specific questions. Just ask. It can be kept private if you’d like.
That’s it for part three, if you have any other questions or suggestions for things I could add, please let me know!
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